Back in chapter 2, we talked about Hot-Buttons – things that consistently

have a positive impact on others’ states. We all have them, and they vary from person to person. The same is true with Cold Buttons. Cold Buttons are words, phrases and actions that will frequently create a negative impact on someone’s behavior or attitude.

Here are some common Cold Buttons that you should really try to avoid pushing if you want to get along with the people around you:


Don’t feel compelled to always have a ‘better’ story or experience than the other person. Don’t even try and match it. When you do this, you
can trivialize their message.

Remaining expressionless

When you don’t make an effort to be responsive to others through your face and body language, you send the message that they are unimportant. Smile, for goodness sake!

Correcting people

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